Manchester by the sea

I’ve spent the last two years really observing and realising who I am. And one of the things that I “discovered” and that I’ve found very powerful is the idea of setting up boundaries.  

Boundaries is quite a complex theme because it isn’t something that you can easily define or notice. And most importantly, to define boundaries you have to have a good comprehension of what are those things that you like/dislike. Meaning: you need to do your homework and get clear of who you are. Once you get clear about that, is going to be way easier to define those boundaries in every aspect of your life. And I should say, even if you think that you know yourself very well, it turns that we keep changing all the time and it is very hard to keep up with all these transformations. Perhaps today you like to go to sleep early, but maybe in six months time, you’ll realise it’s not your thing anymore. And that’s great! we are in constant transformation.  

I’ve recently seen the movie “Manchester by the sea! and if you haven’t seen it yet, perhaps you don’t want to read this blog post since it contains some spoilers.

Now, how are this movie and boundaries related? It was interesting because since it’s a very sad movie you don’t really end up uplifted after watching it (or at least I didn’t!). So there I was in my living room, kind of chewing the whole thing when suddenly, I started to realise how beautiful the ending is. How kind the main character is with himself and also with his nephew when he recognises that it is too much. He accepts he won’t be able to handle the situation, that if he really loves himself and his nephew then he shouldn’t stay in town. And I thought, how amazing and powerful is that. He was clear that the situation was surpassing not only him but his nephew as well. His nephew and ex-wife were impacted by his inability to handle the past combined with the current situation.

And we could have different takes and opinions about it, maybe we could think “oh he’s such a selfish person” or “he should man up and deal with the situation”, but, does he? I think there’s such power in recognising the battles that you want to fight and those where there’s no much you can/want to do and walk away feeling alright and cool with the decision that you made. Clearly, this character wasn't the happiest on earth, so saying that he left feeling cool is probably an overstatement hehehe, but you get the idea (I hope!). The whole concept of having boundaries is to make the best to keep yourself content and aligned with what you like.  

Anyway, that’s the conclusion that I had after seeing this movie. What do you think? Do you agree?

Carol Perez